The Eccentric Life

There are many benefits, both material and psychological, to what is known today as “living the eccentric life.” As an eccentric, one has the option to disengage from any social situation that one finds displeasing, from small conversations to major ceremonies such as weddings or bar mitzvahs. Though one can do this without any explanation (and on occasion should, to keep people wondering about you), it is also possible to dismiss the engagement with a casual aside. Just say that you find weddings to be vulgar. After all, the couple is gathering with their extended family to celebrate the formal deflowering of the woman, who is dressed in virgin white, by her husband, wearing the dark clothes of a ninja. Or, if a conversation is boring you, dismiss the topic as boorish and move on to something that you find interesting, like the recent rise in ethnocentrically oriented nationalist propaganda.

Further benefits of eccentricity include minor leeway for poor choice in dress, “second chances” following flagrant tax evasion, and the respect of angsty adolescent anti-establishmentarians. And a wider variety of pornography.

But wait, there’s more! By disengaging from what you now recognize as arbitrary, historically based and perversely distorted social norms, you will free at least three hours in your day which you can spend chain-smoking cigarettes and authoring zines about your radical and incoherent ecological ideologies. You’re going to change the face of this planet, you know. Or, if it’s more your style, spend the time getting wired on green tea so you can keep on meditating and practicing martial arts. Defeat them with your mind!

Of course, the number one benefit of being an acknowledged oddball is and always will be the women. Women just flock to the disorganized and unshaven hootenanny that seems to follow an eccentric everywhere he or she decides to go. How could they resist? You’re an exciting, uninhibited and worldly free-thinker, and you’re not too busy trying to impress them to wander off in the middle of a conversation.