Musical Instruments
I'm writing I'm writing I'm writing and you can't stop me from writing there's no stopping me from writing I can't even stop myself.
If I was to learn to play an instrument, what would I play? There are many choices and many compelling reasons for and against most of them. Piano's are out, for obvious reasons. Guitar is nice, if a bit commonplace. It's versatile, can make wonderful sounds in pretty much any genre of music, and is fairly easily transportable. Plus it's not unlikely that one might go over to someone else's place and find that he ors he had a guitar and you could be all "hey bud, lemme jam on your axe for a tic?" and they'd be all "righteous!" and then you could impress that pretty blonde who you've been hanging out with for the day.
Harmonicas are badass too, though. They are bluesy and a skilled player can draw out some really heavy sounds from a harmonica. Of course, becoming a skilled player is difficult, and unless it's a chromatic harmonica you're limited to a single key, which is probably a little limiting. I have no idea, of course, because I don't know anything about music. All of this is just streaming out of my ass, you see. Also, they can fit in your breast pocket.
A mouth harp can fit in your pocket too. They are twangy and obscure enough to border on the exotic. Very limited range, very difficult to find useful applications. But twangy!
You're not gonna impress any girls with a xylophone.
Thumb-pianos can produce some beautiful melodies when stroked by a pair of well-trained and dextrous thumbs. I don't know where I could get them, but if I could this might be a fun choice. It's not especially mobile, and it's not like you can be "oh we're going out? i'll bring my thumb-piano. I'm a hipster." No, bad idea, buddy.
I saw someone once and she was playing a triangular string instrument with two bows! one in each hand! and.... it was electric! That was a crazy instrument, let me tell you. Wonderful sounds, and just watching her play was pretty amusing. Alex Grey was there, too.
Maybe I would just get me a drum and learn to keep rhythm and that would be enough. Then I could join drum circles and have some clue what was going on and I could dance and it would be lots of fun. Also drumming and rhythm can get you into a pretty cool frame of mind, really open you up and balance you out. Very strange stuff can happen. Mystical stuff.
Don't forget the kazoo.
Well now that I've covered every instrument, it's important to make another point. No musical instrument is complete unless the sounds it produces are somehow linked to the parallel creation of visible light, to mystify and amaze the stoners. You have to take care of the stoners!
I don't know what instrument I would choose, but I think that bruce lee would probably have wanted me to play the thumb piano. I don't really know anything about bruce lee, i haven't even seen many of his movies, but I am fairly confident that I am absolutely correct. I once read that he was sitting in a boat and watching the water and then he came to understand the Tao. So yeah, definitely the thumb piano. Ting ting ting ting twing.
I cannot say what the other famous martial artist actors and actresses would want me to play, as Bruce Lee is the only one with whom I am intimately and ignorantly connected on such a profound wavelength. But as a rule, Jackie Chan typically pushes the kazoo.
If I was to learn to play an instrument, what would I play? There are many choices and many compelling reasons for and against most of them. Piano's are out, for obvious reasons. Guitar is nice, if a bit commonplace. It's versatile, can make wonderful sounds in pretty much any genre of music, and is fairly easily transportable. Plus it's not unlikely that one might go over to someone else's place and find that he ors he had a guitar and you could be all "hey bud, lemme jam on your axe for a tic?" and they'd be all "righteous!" and then you could impress that pretty blonde who you've been hanging out with for the day.
Harmonicas are badass too, though. They are bluesy and a skilled player can draw out some really heavy sounds from a harmonica. Of course, becoming a skilled player is difficult, and unless it's a chromatic harmonica you're limited to a single key, which is probably a little limiting. I have no idea, of course, because I don't know anything about music. All of this is just streaming out of my ass, you see. Also, they can fit in your breast pocket.
A mouth harp can fit in your pocket too. They are twangy and obscure enough to border on the exotic. Very limited range, very difficult to find useful applications. But twangy!
You're not gonna impress any girls with a xylophone.
Thumb-pianos can produce some beautiful melodies when stroked by a pair of well-trained and dextrous thumbs. I don't know where I could get them, but if I could this might be a fun choice. It's not especially mobile, and it's not like you can be "oh we're going out? i'll bring my thumb-piano. I'm a hipster." No, bad idea, buddy.
I saw someone once and she was playing a triangular string instrument with two bows! one in each hand! and.... it was electric! That was a crazy instrument, let me tell you. Wonderful sounds, and just watching her play was pretty amusing. Alex Grey was there, too.
Maybe I would just get me a drum and learn to keep rhythm and that would be enough. Then I could join drum circles and have some clue what was going on and I could dance and it would be lots of fun. Also drumming and rhythm can get you into a pretty cool frame of mind, really open you up and balance you out. Very strange stuff can happen. Mystical stuff.
Don't forget the kazoo.
Well now that I've covered every instrument, it's important to make another point. No musical instrument is complete unless the sounds it produces are somehow linked to the parallel creation of visible light, to mystify and amaze the stoners. You have to take care of the stoners!
I don't know what instrument I would choose, but I think that bruce lee would probably have wanted me to play the thumb piano. I don't really know anything about bruce lee, i haven't even seen many of his movies, but I am fairly confident that I am absolutely correct. I once read that he was sitting in a boat and watching the water and then he came to understand the Tao. So yeah, definitely the thumb piano. Ting ting ting ting twing.
I cannot say what the other famous martial artist actors and actresses would want me to play, as Bruce Lee is the only one with whom I am intimately and ignorantly connected on such a profound wavelength. But as a rule, Jackie Chan typically pushes the kazoo.
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