Institutionalized Armageddon

Seventeen summers came and went, seventeen snows fell and rose again to find me sitting in this forest waiting for a sign, any sign, that there might indeed be some thing that had heretofore escaped examination but nonetheless was sufficiently consequential to justify this thing that happens every single day, as the sun goes up and is followed once again by stars upon stars, waiting and watching with dispassionate austerity alone yet surrounded by neighbors on all sides and in all conceivable directions of time.
The expectation that with time the dream will unfold and show itself to me is marked by a psychotic fear that the unfolding of the dream is no more than the unfolding of my own mind and no less than the unraveling of all of space and time as every step towards playful awakening is paralleled by equal advancements towards the apocalypse, toward an institutionalized Armageddon. Every step towards self-knowledge foretells of an ecstatic Ragnarok as Loki grins and mounts the nuclear victories of great men celebrated annually on President’s Day! regardless of their dangerous failures at executive management or their moral shortcomings or their indiscriminate fiscal fellatiating of long time friends fully dressed as corporate villains who need only smile and throw their hands in the air and tell you how much better things are getting, read your history books every day we are getting closer to a state of convenient perfection.