American Idol

Here we are, and I’m writing again, and I’ve got to say that it’s getting a little tricky to think of things to say. I mean, not thing to say so much as interesting things to say, I can keep talking about just about anything. Let’s talk about American Idol.
What is the big fucking deal about American idol? Obviously if I don’t like it, there’s nothing about it to like. Of course, I haven’t seen more than one or two episodes, and I did enjoy watching Simon tear apart the misguided dreams of people who never had the benefit of someone to tell them “you have no future in this. Give up now!” which is perhaps what I need someone to tell me about writing or prostitution. But the important thing is that people waste a ridiculous amount of time watching this retarded show about retarded people trying to sing their fucking songs and I’m sick of it god damn it, because I don’t give a fuck and I’m fairly confident that I never will.
The issue of course is more that people spend too much time watching TV in general, when they should be mailing me checks or money orders to fund my sitting in my room masturbating and watching movies and writing about how people need to send me money. There is an important cycle here and it needs to be continued.
Seriously though, what would I do with money? Eat out at nicer restaurants more often, definitely. I wouldn’t need a much bigger place but maybe a one bedroom would be nice. But once it was furnished and I had expensive food and health care and clothes and a hybrid car with insurance and my laptop and a good ISP and a big TV and an alright sound system then what would I spend more money on? What would I need? Not much! Then all I would want is time, and I can’t get that by complaining about American Idol, but I can try.
How much time is spent watching TV by most people? If you watch a show once a week and it’s on 5 days a week, that’s two and a half hours a week of watching that show. Two shows is five hours a week!!! What if you watch four shows? Can you imagine what could be done with 10 hours every week if a person applied themselves? That is surely sufficient to cultivate mindfulness or learn a cool skill or read more books or have tons of sex or whatever the fuck the person wanted to do but couldn’t because they spent so much time on the couch that they were depressed and impotent and self-loathing like this particular rant seems to reveal that I am myself.
But none of these things, time or money, they don’t really change anything, do they? You can’t hold on to them forever. They may make the difference between comfort and strain, but that difference could just as easily be made or broken by a person’s state of mind. They don’t make you a better person because people aren’t ranked, not by wealth or personality or accomplishments or experiences or anything else like that. I’m lonely and I want to make out. But I’m also kind of sleepy. Bah humbug. What matters? Where is it? I can’t find anything! Love? Grey says it is love that matters. But it seems like love may simply make life livable and enjoyable. In terms of ultimate meaning, well, I can’t see any ultimate meaning! So why do I get so caught up in my attempts to become something that I’m not yet, or to gain something I don’t have yet, or any of the other things that I do with my time and energy? I say it’s cause I’ve got to do something, but do I? Maybe the great joy of meditation and tai chi and yoga is that it gives you something to do that doesn’t require any money or fame or anything like that. You can learn to just sit, or just do the form, spend your time doing these things instead of trying to become super rich or the best ping pong player or the man who’s received the most sodomy of any men since the great Greeks.